Please sir, I didn't do it

Mohammed Asif is going to soon need plastic surgery for that proboscis of his, which grows with alarming leaps and bounds with every chemical-related endeavor of his. You may recall that during the doping scam in which the PCB and he participated, his excuse was that he had no idea that he had been taking nandrolone (he had been cheated, misled!). Now, after detention at Dubai Airport on charges of possessing contraband, Asif's excuse is that

he did not know what the substance was and had been carrying it in his wallet for several months.

Excuse moi, my boy, but if you've been carrying around a little wad of sticky black stuff in your wallet, and you knew about it for several months, weren't you ever tempted to like, clean it out? Or be curious as to why this fungal growth had just taken place in your wallet? Sigh. The boy went to Dubai, scored some good hash, had a good time, and then was silly enough to either a) forget he had it in his wallet before the ride home or b) think he could take it back and share it with his buddies, saying "look at this really good stuff they smoke in Dubai". Either way, he's dumb. Save the smokes for the parties, not the plane rides.

Update from Nadeem Akram, "senior PCB official":

I have been told that what was found was some medicine given to him by a local Pakistani Hakeem.